It's 12:30am or so, I just got back to my room and my roomate is already asleep. I'm about to go to sleep myself so that I can wake up and head back to the library to waste another day of my life staring at my german paper.... arg. I actually got some done today at least, I just need to finish it. I have too much other stuff I should be working on. I don't even really mind that I'm going to bed before 1am on a saturday or that I'll be working tomorrow. What else would I be doing? I guess I'm old, or have just come to peace with my inner dorkyness, but I don't care. I don't want to go to loud crowded apartment parties and drink gross beer or dance with cheesey frat boys. gross. I'm so over it, the whole thing. I like living in an apartment. I like being an adult. I eat broccoli and spinach even though no one tells me to! I haven't even turned 21 yet and I already don't think drinking is exciting anymore. Maybe being going to bars or clubs would be a little more fun. I enjoyed bars in Germany. Going "out" is just so silly on campus. there's always somehow pressure when you're out to do something cool... something you can tell people about the next day. How was your night, did you go out? What apartments did you go to? Was so and so. there? Was it a good party? blah. sick of it.
Eric came up last night. I made Fajitas and we saw the Borne Supremacy, and lots of it takes place in Berlin. I think Eric got a little sick of me wispering, "We were there!" during the movie :-P Anyway, it was a really nice night, I miss having him around. And he gave me pretty earings :)
I talked to one of my german professors about my senior thesis paper. I don't have to write it until next semester, but since the topic will probably require reading a few novels I want to get started. I'm writing about a literary theory proposed by Delueze and Guittari in thier book, "Kafka, toward a minor literature". I'm writing about how they drew it from Kafka's experience as a Jew in Prague writing in german and then I'm going to see what happens when i apply it to Native american writers in the US. It's kinda heavy on the theory, and my German prof wants me to do more with german literature, like write about other minority writers in Germany or something, but I don't want to. I'm interested in the theory and working it out with Native writers. I like literary theory. Because I am cool.
Anyway, I need to get started on that soon... as soon as I finish the paper for germany. And then write my Fulbright application essays. I'm applying for a Fulbright teaching grant by the way. It's for a position as an assistant high school english teacher in germany. It's not as competetive as a research grant, there are 80 spots and last year 160 people applied. So, I need to write a compelling essay and hopefully I'll get it. I would love love to go back to Europe for a year. i would also love to have the oportunity to teach high school for a year before I decide if I want to get a teaching lisence and masters degree in education back here in the states.
See, so many things to think about, how can people be out getting drunk? So that they don't have to think about it I suppose...
My answer to that is... go to bed! I find sleep to be more effective than drinking.