you know you're a teacher when...

You start receiving e-mail forwards like this one and you actually want to pass them on just to let everyone know how hard your job is ;-P


Next season on Survivor

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in a high school classroom for 1 school year.

Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum (if there is one, if not they are required to make their own with little to no training), and a class of 28-32 students.

Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled, three with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with sever behavior problems.

Each business person must complete three lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways, without any time to prepare for the next class.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and [Cod Red] drills for shooting attacks each month.

They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, and attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the Terra Nova and PSSA tests. If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times. If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be held responsible.

The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the weekends, but with their new salary, they will not be able to afford it.

There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to 25 minutes, which is not counted as part of their work day. The business people will be permitted to use a student restroom only as long as another survival candidate can supervise their class.

IF the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before, or after, school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit of copies. The business people must also continually advance their education, at their expense, and on their own time.

The winner of this season of Survivor will be allowed to return to their job with a 1% raise in salary.